Me: Yeah, but I bought a ticket for Alvin and the Chipmunks 3: Chipwrecked because it was playing next door. Tom Cruise isn't getting my money and giving it to Scientology so they can hire more people to claim they're broke and they need their parishioners to take out fifth mortgages on their homes to pay for extra auditing to explain why they can't spend more time in auditing.
MI:4: Sticking to your guns on this one, aren't you?
Me: Yeah, like Jigen Daisuke in Lupin III.
MI:4: No one got that reference.
Me: I like to give no one more credit. So what's the plot of this one?
MI:4: There's a nuclear scientist who wants to blow up the world. He's got access to the warheads and he needs the launch codes. An assassin has the launch codes.
Me: OK. That sounds exciting. So Tom Cruise and some better actors are going to stop him?
MI:4: No, they're going to intercept the meeting and still give him the launch codes because if they don't that might raise some suspicion.
Me: And then kill him, right?
MI:4: No. They are going to give him the real launch codes and then chase him but he's going to get away a couple times.
Me: Why don't they just shoot him in the head in the hotel?
MI:4: As Tom Cruise explained to you, because he's an asset, and you don't kill assets.
Me: Why not? He kills a lot of other people.
MI:4: They weren't assets.
Me: And his team killed that other check whom they said, clearly, was an asset.
MI:4: He's a different asset!
Me: So, while I have you here, explain clearly why you need the guy alive after you gave him the ability to explode nuclear weapons.
MI:4: So .... he can .. um, I have some notes here ... let's see ... so they can follow him to where he's going to launch the nuclear missiles!
Me: And then what?
MI:4: Well, kill him. Duh.
Me: So why don't they do that halfway through the movie?! While they have him in the room! And he doesn't know who they are! And there's no witnesses! And there's no moral or political repercussions!
MI:4: Because ... that would make the movie an hour shorter.
Me: It's not any more complicated than that, is it?
MI:4: No it's not.